Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
