is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
