Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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