Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
