I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
