Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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