Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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