The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
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