wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
