bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Swine flu. Run for my life!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
