I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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