Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
