Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
