his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
