is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the condom got lost in my hair
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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