Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"

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(614): View more from Ohio

This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.

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(458): View more from Oregon

I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.

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(949): View more from California

Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.

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(714): View more from California

Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.

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(850): View more from Florida

So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up

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(908): View more from New Jersey

wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house

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(551): View more from New Jersey

Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight

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