So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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