what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
