He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
