I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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