I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
