idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
