Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
