I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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