thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
