i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
