not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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