We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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