the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
