Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
