glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize