I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
please come you make the beer taste better
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
