I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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