ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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