i already hear my dad disowning me
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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