Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
