hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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