Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
