Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
