I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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