5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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