babies were throwing up all over the place
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Come on in and take your pants off
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