Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize