Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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