I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
