My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
