He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
