My room smells like vodka and shame
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize