I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
