How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
