If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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