shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
