The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
