You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
