Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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