Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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