i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
