I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
