Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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