you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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