There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
